Follow Him

So today has been a relatively good day. Snow has melting some, not as much ice on the roads, and it is not below 20 degrees anymore…

We, my family, has a lot of time together tonight. An amazing meal by my mother, Anita. Fish, sweet potato casserole, and a yummy salad. One of my favorite meals in a while, beside last nights meal (chicken noodle casserole!!!! soooo good!).

Other things in my life, my path with God has been altered some… not in God’s, just in mine. I’ve not been at the place I need to be, and if you have read my blog, you know what I mean (such as this or this). God has really been working on me, letting me do the things I do, loving me still, and giving me mercy. I am so grateful for His love. I just hope I no longer take it for granted. 

I know his direction for me, and the basic look of His heart in mine. I know the connections he has made for me with others, and what pleases him is what I want. I want his desires, his heart, his hands, his feet, his everything. That is the most important thing to me. 

So now, I am going to get in the word’s of scripture, study them, keep praying, focusing, writing, loving in the best way I know, by giving of myself and being obedient to God’s commandments. That is the most important thing in this world: loving (God and others). 

So as I close this night down, and head to bed, I hope and pray your lives are being so intentional to serve God. ‘God is Love” and encompasses all that is love. He is the most important. 

Follow Him.

a desire of a man

So I don’t make many posts of just talking about my life. So here it goes…

It’s been a good couple of weeks, in and out of myself, traveling, searching, loving. I am just kind of stuck in a rut, it seems sometimes… other times, I am so uber excited about life, and what is to come. 

One thing that has been on my mind lately is money… I work at Chick-fil-a, and it is O.K. money, but I know I can’t do that for the rest of my life, and I don’t really want too… What I would really LOVE to do, as I’m sure most people do, is travel, travel, travel. It is hard to do that these days though, and actually be able to eat… I know that I am called to be a missionary, a good father (but not just to my own children, but as a spiritual father for God’s purposes…), an blogger, a videographer (but not for money), and of course, as I have mentioned, a world traveler; I want to make a difference in this world. I’d love to start a mission to help people around the world, in poverty, with disease, help get people out of slavery, being a father, love, be affectionate towards, and be compassionate to the world, giving up of myself to those who need God, and who need to be encouraged. I have been told I am going to be a man who blesses, lives with, or is helpful towards, the most insignificant people of the world. And with all my heart, I want what God wants for me, I know that is this. I feel it all within my bones, within my eyes, within my mind, within my gut, the utmost parts of my body, and my heart (which is the most strong). I desire so much to live with God, be with God, loving Him, being with Him, being best friends, and loving others while I love God. I want it with all that I am, I could cry for years, for eternity, if I don’t do it. If I don’t strive for these things, I know I will cry for eternity. 

So as I live in this moment, day by day, striving to be the person God wants me to be, messing up, confessing my sinful ways, and loving those around me in intricate ways, ways I hope no one else has loved before. It is as if I will burst, blow, die if I don’t do what I know God wants to do through me, in me. I have to do it. 

Pray for me, that all these things, my flesh mostly, that make me fall, that make me fail, leave, and I find strength in God. 

With tears, many tears, I ask for you to pray for me, that God will be in me, and I will be in Him, and that I will do what He does, what He desires, what His heart longs for. Thats all I want. 

 

And in these final moments of this day,

I know what I must do.

I must pray, I must earnestly pray,

for God’s mercy,

for God’s grace,

for God’s forgiveness of this broken state,

I must earnestly pray,

pray, pray,

for His return to me,

for my return to Him,

for the end of myself has come,

at the end of this day,

and for it all to never come back.