My life has brought me to a place that I find myself contradicting what I know I am supposed to be. I have lost my will power to go, to do, to be. I want so badly to be right, to be in the correct place, the place where God wants me, but I keep coming up with excuses, bringing up the past guilt, and not focusing on what is right in front of me, what I know I’m supposed to do, where I know I’m supposed to be.
The main problem right now, and is the foundation of my contradicting mindset at this time is doubting God’s ability to lead me, guide me, keep me. I am not trusting God’s ability to be faithful to me. I am not being faithful to Him.
The main problem:
I would love prayer and support through this time. I really need to get out of this rut that I am in right now.
My depiction of where I am at right now:
I feel like I’m in a deep hole with the top open, but I won’t jump out of it. It is as if I think that the hole is too deep to jump out of, but it is truly only feet deep. The lie that it is deep to the point where I can’t jump out myself is tearing me apart.
But the reality, really, is that I don’t trust God’s ability to get me out, even if the hole was an eternity deep.
I might not be able to get out with by my human self, but He has all the ability to pick me up by my limbs and bring me out of the rut I am in.
I am just dealing with a lot, and need your prayers. Thank you for your support, love, care, kindness, and friendship.
I know that God will bring me out of this rut that I have put myself in.